Did you hear?… Women prefer electronic bling over diamonds and designer duds

All you guys out there, take note: Love comes at a price. In fact, it’ll cost you $4,999 if you rush to Best Buy right now to pick up a 58-inch plasma high-definition TV.

All you guys out there, take note: Love comes at a price. In fact, it’ll cost you $4,999 if you rush to Best Buy right now to pick up a 58-inch plasma high-definition TV.

We realize you’ve been saving to buy her a glittering diamond solitaire necklace. But, wait, hold on a sec: Cable’s women-oriented Oxygen Network conducted a survey that found three of four women would prefer a new plasma TV to a diamond necklace. The network’s recent “Girls Gone Wired” survey of 1,400 women ages 15 to 49 found women actually opted for techy items — honest to goodness! — rather than luxury items like jewelry, vacations or designer shoes.

Sure, back in the good ol’ days, a diamond would leave her speechless, right guys? But modern women are wowed by electronics. Get this: 86 percent of women surveyed also said they’d prefer a digital video camera to a pair of designer shoes. Yes, folks — over shoes! They’re turning away from shoes! (If you’ve fallen out of your chair, it’s because the Earth just tilted on its axis.)

“People make the assumption that women are not as advanced as men when it comes to technology,” Geraldine Laybourne, chair and CEO of Oxygen Network, told Reuters. “I was surprised at the parity men and women now have in terms of technology.”

Well, that’s all fine and dandy, Ms. Laybourne, but good grief, women snubbing diamonds and Prada! Excuse us while we prepare for the Apocalypse. Are those locusts we hear? Sure, this is the Oxygen Network, likely a place frequented by tech-savvy women, but the research was conducted by independent market researcher TRU.

Of course, the women’s tech trend raises an issue more dire than the mere ending of the world — who’s gonna get the remote control? That’s right, fellas. You used to say, “Yeah, you can have my remote only when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers.” Well, once you’ve expressed your love with 58 inches of brilliant, big-screen plasma, she’ll swipe that remote and then hop up on your lifeless body to use it as a seat cushion.

Maybe you’re cool loosening your grip on the electronic power. A modern man can hand over the remote without handing over his manhood. Really. Sure, football season’s about to start, but you won’t mind tuning into the Oxygen Network to watch a marathon of “Breaking Up” with Shannen Doherty. Who needs ESPN when you’ve got love?

SNEWS® View: But seriously, folks. Think about what this says: It means that fluff and pretty colors aren’t the only thing after a woman’s fancy when it comes to equipment and gear in the industry. In fact — get this — the study also found that women expect to INCREASE their use of technology in the next five years, and that eight of 10 felt fearless activating new gadgets. Oxygen’s Laybourne pointed out that companies need to make sure they address women’s increased knowledge and avoid being condescending. Yes, even the women out there want electronics that will help them in life, be it on a treadmill, in a heart-rate monitor, on the trail or with logging workouts. No, don’t over-complicate the controls (no Bibles for manuals, please), but don’t just color it pink, dumb it down, and call it a “women’s XYZ.” She may just opt for the TV instead and who wants to promote even more potatoes on the couch?